Joyous News
My colleagues,
I am delighted and ecstatic to inform you all that I am now among the happy masses of proud parents. No, no, I have not pulled the switcheroo, as they call it, on another set of IVF test tubes. Instead, I am happy to say that I have adopted a magnificent young boy, Jeremy. He is blue eyed (autosomal recessive, chromosome 19) and brown haired (autosomal dominant, chromosome 4), four years old, and already he parts his soft, curtainous lips to reveal a loving, toothless smile every time I hold him. The adoption agency hesitated to allow an achondroplasia-afflicted man to father a flawless, beautiful, healthy young boy. However, once I informed them of who I was (“Hey, you’re that little fella from the TV, doin’ all that science) they immediately recognized that a man as intelligent and capable as myself could not be denied parenthood regardless of his size (“Well, normally I wouldn’t, but you’re a genius, so..”). Oh, the joys of parenting! Not only to care for another person, but for once I finally interact with someone at the same eye level! I fear, though, that he may become difficult to control in his pre-teen and adolescent years; he has a distinct advantage in athleticism and participates in his pre-school track program better than any of the other children.
I have been pondering my obsession with procreation, and although I have not yet directly produced an offspring, I feel that Jeremy is a delightful and perhaps better alternative to continuing my legacy through my own genes. After all, given the current state of young peoples’ social interactions, it is likely that if Jeremy were my own descendant, had he been born as I am, he would be mocked, ridiculed, and suffer from extreme anxiety thus preventing him from completing his studies. Surely, Jeremy now has the best of both worlds! My genius mentoring without the hindrance of my nature! Yet my fear has not been assuaged by removing the possibility of creating a son with my inherited stature, but rather I fear that my hopes of nurturing brilliance unto Jeremy may be compromised or shattered by a lack of natural ability on his part. Apparently, Jeremy’s family has a history of Alzheimer’s, and although it may not onset for quite some time (unless he develops the juvenile form) I fear that some sort of undiscovered genetic mutation may hinder him from absorbing what I aim to teach him.
Yet, in spite of all this, I now grasp the secret that eluded me and aggravated me for so long, that mysterious high shared by all who masqueraded their smaller versions of themselves as though they were some sort of discovery as worthy as mine in science. It is that feeling of an unlimited capacity to love–if that is in fact love, it might as well be–that elevates the ego and the self-image. I never imagined I would let myself succumb to elation, for I always imagined that it weakened the mind. However, I feel that it is no longer my own mind that I must nurture, but the nature of Jeremy’s that I must attend to.
With joy and elation, we wish you all well,
Ben and Jeremy
PS- Here’s a photo with me by him at his first track meet this year. I’ll be sending greetings to you all around the holidays. Cheers!
callmestephanides said,
April 18, 2008 at 2:10 am
Benedict, Congratulations! I am ecstatic to hear about Jeremy, I look forward to hearing about him as he grows.
I understand your frustrations with procreation, especially because that’s simply not possible for me. However, in order to quell any fears that you might have, I think it’s right that I should let you know what the great Dr. Luce said of my gender, which was that sex of rearing, rather than genetic determinants, plays a greater role in the establishment of gender identity. Yes, Jeremy’s gender is quite clear, but it is very much in favor of nurture conquering nature. I doubt that any barriers Jeremy has can stand in the way of your mentoring.
However, I must remind you, Benedict, that it is Jeremy’s life to live, not your own. If he renounces genetics and becomes a Bible salesman, you have to support him. If he wants to leave England and move to Detroit, it’s his choice to make. And if he wants a sex change, it’s up to him. Don’t forget that he’s your son, not a puppet on a string.
He looks like a great kid. Congratulations.
-Cal
revmendel said,
April 18, 2008 at 2:26 am
Congrats, Benedict! Has the baby been baptized yet? I would love to do it, if it hasn’t yet. I do agree with Cal, that it is Jeremy’s life to live, not yours. Should be pursue a religious career, do not be alarmed. Look at me, for instance. I pursued the divine and landed atop the genetic kingdom. If you try to live vicariously through your son it could have disastrous results. Cautious words from a caring friend.
Regards,
Uncle Gregor
henryford said,
April 21, 2008 at 2:36 am
Congratulations, Benedict. I am happy for you for a number of reasons. First, the feeling of bringing another life into this world is unmatched. I cannot explain the pride I felt when I had my first child. There is nothing like PRODUCING. The second reason that I’m proud of you is because you reversed the awful genetic cycle you have found yourself in. I want to take your situation back a couple of decades. I don’t like dealing with all of this “political correctness” of our current day and age. If you were born with your, ahem, vertical challenge in 1901 you might have never gotten to where you are today. Because you were deemed inadequate to work, your family might have cast you into the gutter. But, you were able to reverse that eventual fatal trend. You produced something that can produce! Your seed will live on, and probably do so healthily. I just want to let you know that you’re lucky to be an adult in 2008.
HF
kellyb243 said,
April 21, 2008 at 5:25 am
Benedict,
I am so happy to hear about your successful adoption! Reading your announcement, however, sparked several questions. Looking back on all that you have achieved, do you really believe it would be a disadvantage to pass your dwarfism on to a child? Every child faces certain disadvantages, but it certainly seems that physical disadvantages are more difficult to overcome than others in a society such as ours that is so focused on appearance. When does a disorder become a disability– when it physically hinders or mentally hinders or both? And, do you consider your own condition a disorder or a disability? Finally, working in the genetic field, I am sure you were eager to pass on your own genes… was it difficult to adopt a child knowing that he will never share your genetic makeup or do you believe that the truly important things that your son will inherit could never be passed on through DNA sequences? Enjoy your time with your son… kids grow up too fast!